Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
