Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
