the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
