yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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