Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
