im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
