At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
