my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
