Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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