Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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