Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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