You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
