Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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