is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize