Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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