Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
