so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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