She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
