What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
