Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
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