??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Randomize
