I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
