I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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