I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
