About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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