i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
