So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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