We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
