fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
