They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
