I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
