I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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