Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
