you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
