Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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