we're chasing vodka with high fives
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
