can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
