hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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