He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
