You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.