could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in