My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
