Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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