It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
