i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
