Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
