So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
