hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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