So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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