How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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