He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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