Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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