I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize