dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
