And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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