How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
