my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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