At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Terrible idea I love it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
