You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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