saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
