Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why didn't you poke me back
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
