apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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