Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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