Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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