Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
