One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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